We all know Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
I even talked about it in detail in my previous article : “Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs – The Power of Knowing and Managing Your Need”
Physiological needs, safety, love, self-esteem, self-actualization… Needs that we all have to fulfill at different levels.
But what if I told you that we have even deeper psychological and spiritual needs?
Have you ever asked yourself, “Why the hell did I do that?”
Your actions seem irrational. But you still do them—or catch yourself doing them.
As if something inside you is trying to fill a gap, to satisfy a need.
Even if you don’t realize it in the moment, these are fundamental needs.
Tony Robbins categorizes these into six core needs.
He defines the first four as those that shape our personality and the last two as spiritual needs.
Most of us try to meet these needs on autopilot.
That’s why we drift. We end up doing things that can harm us.
Because we’re not aware of what we need—or why we’re doing what we’re doing.
I wandered around like that for a long time.
The things I did on autopilot became habits. And I always struggled to break them.
Even when I was mad at myself, I still found myself doing the same behaviors..
Now, I know my needs. And I’m developing new habits that meet them.
I’m adding new routines to my life, meeting new people, chasing new experiences, learning new things.
Now it’s your turn. Becoming aware of your needs will accelerate your growth.
You’ll be able to replace harmful habits with more productive ones.
Most importantly, you’ll know why you do what you do. You won’t drift aimlessly anymore.
When you can link your actions to a reason, they become easier to do.
You’ll gain discipline and self-respect.
One thing you must never forget: each of us is unique.
We are all created differently, and each of us has different experiences and backgrounds.
That’s why our needs vary in intensity. Stop comparing yourself to others.
Success through right decisions—or failure through toxic habits—comes down to whether your core needs are being met consistently.
Let’s break down these needs, one by one…
Certainty
The need to avoid pain and experience pleasure—basically, the need to feel safe.
Even in our daily routines, we seek certainty.
Feel a little pain and panic sets in. We worry about our health and can’t think clearly.
When faced with hardship, our first reaction might be to avoid it.
We might avoid new situations or people, or we lower our expectations.
In this way, we seek certainty by trying to control the process.
We all seek certainty in different ways.
Some of us create rigid routines, others try to control everything, some lower expectations to avoid disappointment.
But most of us do this on autopilot. Our past experiences and core beliefs drive these reactions.
So ask yourself:
How are you meeting your need for certainty?
Are you doing it in a way that strengthens you—or weakens you?
If you want to meet this need consciously and in a way that empowers you:
- Choose activities that you enjoy, but that also push you just outside your comfort zone.
- Adopt healthy, empowering routines.
- Make consistent growth and contribution part of your values.
Uncertainty / Variety
Doing the same things, going to the same places, hanging with the same people…
Even if it satisfies our need for certainty, eventually it gets boring.
It sounds paradoxical, but variety is just as essential as certainty.
Meeting new people, trying new things, signing up for new classes… These are the moments that excite us and make us feel alive.
When met in a healthy way, variety fuels growth.
Some people find it by learning a new language. Others through drinking, and some by chasing new goals.
So have you ever thought about how you meet your need for variety?
If you want to do it in a way that empowers you:
- Feed your mind regularly with new information.
- Learn a new language. Start a new sport. Taste new foods. Join classes with new people.
- Learn how to spark passion in your life and relationships.
Significance
We are all born unique. That means we all want to feel like we matter.
We want to be seen and heard—at home, at work, in social settings.
Especially those who didn’t get this need met as children may turn to extreme behaviors.
People argue, fight, even self-destruct—just to feel significant.
Some use alcohol or addictions to feel seen.
Others surround themselves with people they perceive as less talented or successful to feel superior.
But there are positive ways to meet this need too.
- Learn a new skill.
- Commit to mastery in your craft or career.
- Develop emotional intelligence.
- Most importantly, help others. That’s one of the most powerful ways to feel significant.
Love / Connection
No one can go through life completely alone. Love and connection are essential parts of being human.
Every child needs love from their parents and secure attachment.
This way, they learn how to connect with people when they grow up.
Those who cannot fulfill their need for love and connection in their families look for different alternatives in their environment.
Friendship, community, sports, art, prayer, or meditation… All of these are ways to connect.
Look closely at the people around you. How do they meet their need for love and connection?
Do they lash out at their partners for not giving enough affection?
Do they bounce from party to party just to connect with someone?
Do they unable to say “no” to anything and sacrifice their own desires?
Or do they constantly play the victim just to feel some emotional bond?
So how can you meet this need in an empowering way?
- Express your needs clearly to your partner or friends.
- Build deeper, more meaningful friendships.
- Strengthen your spiritual connection through prayer and meditation.
Growth
The world is constantly changing.
The events we experience, the meanings we attach to them, discoveries, technology, nature…
We’re not the same world as a thousand years ago. Nothing stands still.
So we all have to keep up with this growth, progress, and change.
Think about the pain of staying stuck—doing the same thing, being in the same cycle.
That could be in your relationships, your career, your finances…
I was there too. Exhausted from the repetition.
I was in pain. Worst part? I had no idea what to do next.
Most people don’t know how to meet this deep spiritual need for growth.
They want to improve but don’t know how.
If you want to satisfy your need for growth with true fulfillment:
- Prioritize lifelong learning.
- But don’t just learn—apply it. See the progress.
- Challenge yourself to master a skill.
- Learn how to manage and redirect your emotions.
- Identify your limiting beliefs and replace them.
- Practice gratitude. Meditate. Pray.
Remember Tony Robbins’ words:
Progress equals happiness.
Contribution
Contribution gives your life meaning.
Meeting your partner’s needs, making your child smile, helping a neighbor, feeding a student, meeting the needs of a poor family…
These are things that nourish your soul.
Giving beyond yourself brings abundance, love, and peace into your life.
If you’ve ever worked with a charity or volunteered regularly, you know what I’m talking about.
If you want true fulfillment, find a purpose beyond yourself.
And make it a habit to help those in need.
You’ll feel the difference. Because as Tony Robbins says:
The secret to living is giving.
What’s Your Driving Force?
Which of these six needs is your primary driver?
How are you currently meeting your needs?
Are you doing it in a way that empowers or weakens you?
What’s the impact on your life?
Understanding your driving need will help you understand your behaviors and habits.
That way, you can identify the ones that disempower you—and replace them.
You can set goals that actually meet your needs and guide your behavior.
You can better understand the needs of your partner or child—and change how you interact with them.
You can guide them to build better habits too.
If you start making powerful, positive shifts today—you can change the entire direction of your life.
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